Love, Sex, and a 30-Day Challenge

So, over the week of Valentines that I was away, my husband sent me an E-mail with an article attached regarding a 30-day sex challenge. Hmmm, not sure what he was hinting at. Anyways, when you talk about sex––no less a 30-day sex challenge––would you ever think a church would be the driving force behind it? No, I didn’t either; but it’s really true!

The Relevant Church in Tampa Bay Florida has done just this. It’s issued a 30-Day Sex Challenge to all its members. Unmarried members are to abstain from sex for thirty days, while married couples are to have sex every day for thirty days. Wow! I’m sure all you married guys out there are asking how do you get signed up? While most of you gals (like me) are thinking: you’ve got to be kidding me, right?

At first, I have to admit, I was a little horrified. Seems a little extreme to me; surely these people have no children under the age of two. However, it appears as though this church is made up primarily of twenty and thirty-something couples. I found that interesting. But you know the more I contemplate this challenge, the more intrigued I am.

It’s no surprise that little thought and consideration is given to the incredible bond a married husband and wife can share in their sexual relationship. If you’re married, just think about it: What’s the first part of your marriage to take a back seat to work, stress, and (my favorite) lack of sleep? That’s right; sex usually the first thing to get pushed aside. Am I right?

The strange thing is that most people think God must cringe every time we talk about sex. (like it’s taboo or something), but the Bible seems to disagree. Have you ever read Song of Solomon? It’s hardly “G” rated! If you don’t believe me, read it and you might find yourself in a very sensual love sonnet that could rekindle the passion in you and your spouse! Here’s a little sample:

Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
       is my lover among the young men.
       I delight to sit in his shade,
       and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
He has taken me to the banquet hall,
       and his banner over me is love.
Strengthen me with raisins,
       refresh me with apples,
       for I am faint with love.
His left arm is under my head,
       and his right arm embraces me.
Song of Solomon 2:3-6

So, if you’re not convinced that an intimate sexual experience is encouraged between a husband and wife, then let’s explore the health benefits to having sex. An article from entitled Frequent Sex in Marriage lists the emotional and physical benefits from frequent sex:

  • Lower mortality rates.
  • Reduced risk of prostate cancer.
  • Improves posture.
  • Boosts self esteem.
  • Makes a person feel younger.
  • Firms tummy and buttocks.
  • Keeps spouses connected emotionally.
  • Offers pain-relief.
  • Gives people a positive attitude on life.
  • Reduced risk of heart disease.
  • Makes a person more calm.
  • Improves fitness level.
  • Makes a person less irritable.
  • Reduced depression.
  • Improved sense of smell.


O.K, now that you know some health benefits to having sex, you might be wondering what it takes to have a wonderful sexual relationship with your spouse.

Another article from entitled Marriage Sexuality says that “Communication is the key to great sex.” I would have to agree. The article goes on to suggest that we should, “Communicate with one another about your expectations, your fears, your desires, your concerns, and be honest! This is necessary for all couples, newlyweds and older, long married couples, too.”

So, what do you think? Are you ready for a 30-day sex challenge? Maybe you’re not ready for everyday for thirty days, but maybe a pledge to more frequent sex with your spouse is a more reasonable commitment. And not just a commitment to have sex, but to have a meaningful and intimate relationship.

I encourage you to dust off your Bibles and read the Song of Solomon together. Remember what inner and outer qualities that attracted you to one another in the first place. Explore a healthy sexual relationship the way God intended it to be. You might be surprised at what you discover.

In closing, a word of passion: “I am my lover’s, and my lover is mine.”(Song of Solomon 6:3). Here’s to hoping that every married couple will make their own unique sex challenge; which, in turn, will spark an excitement in their marriage to last an entire lifetime!

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