Imagine a car with a V12 Ferrari engine capable of going from 0–60 mph in 3 seconds or less. There’s just one problem: the car is only equipped with bicycle brakes. This is how Edward Hallowell, MD, and John Ratey, MD, authors of Driven to Distraction and ADHD 2.0, describe the ADHD brain.
The term “ADHD,” or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, probably conjures images of a rambunctious boy running impulsively and recklessly through a store, touching everything in sight, talking nonstop, and exhausting everyone around him. His Ferrari engine is just too powerful for those bicycle brakes. However, this is only one presentation of ADHD. ADHD is generally categorized into three types based on the predominant behavioral symptoms: (1.) inattentive presentation, (2.) hyperactive/impulsive presentation, and (3.) combined presentation (both inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive). Despite its common association with young children, ADHD persists into adulthood, although the symptoms may change over time.
As of 2023, ADHD affects approximately 15.5 million adults in the United States and 2–5% of adults worldwide. Roughly half of those diagnosed in the US received their diagnosis as children or adolescents. However, boys are more likely to receive a diagnosis in childhood than girls, due in part to the externalized symptoms of hyperactivity that appear to be more common in boys. Girls are more likely to mask their symptoms or exhibit inattention rather than hyperactivity. Thanks to a broadening understanding of how ADHD affects females, an increasing number of adult women are being diagnosed.
Women and ADHD
Aileen Henri-Saturné, DNP, a child/adolescent psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner, says that, for many girls or women, having ADHD is like “having a dozen browser tabs open and losing track of which one is playing the music.” The problem is that no one else can see those browser tabs, and the internal chaos goes unnoticed. Additionally, societal pressures and expectations often result in the development of coping mechanisms that allow a girl with inattention to compensate through childhood and adolescence.
Inattention is not the only symptom. Girls and women with ADHD frequently struggle socially. They may have a harder time making friends or feel overwhelmed by the expectations of maintaining a relationship. They often experience rejection sensitivity and are unable to handle criticism. As a result, they may have a distorted negative view of themselves. Women with ADHD also tend to experience sensory overload more often than men. These symptoms may be easily masked by a woman or girl who has learned to internalize, rather than externalize, her emotions.
Often, it isn’t until the birth of a child or a major life change that an inattentive, non-hyperactive woman begins to experience symptoms beyond her ability to compensate. Suddenly the anxiety over performing tasks consistently and continuously in both domestic and professional realms becomes overwhelming. The inability to organize, remember or complete tasks, and tolerate the constant stimulation that comes with young children reveals a brain that was neurodivergent all along. If this sounds like your current experience, now would be a good time to get assessed for ADHD.
ADHD as aRoadmap to Wellness
Henri-Saturné suggests that someone who suspects they have ADHD should “think of the diagnosis as a roadmap toward health and wellness rather than a label.” It’s like finally downloading the directions to your destination when you are already on the road. “When someone has experienced the symptoms of ADHD for a period of time, they may feel scattered, overwhelmed, or unable to progress in particular areas of their lives. Receiving an ADHD diagnosis can be a relief.” In fact, “knowing can open doors to learning tools, new routines, and obtaining the appropriate support for one’s brain.”
Extending the idea of a diagnosis as a road map, knowing you have ADHD can help interpret your past behavior (why certain roads were dead ends), help you pay attention to the road signs (an impending deadline may require a time cushion to avoid anxiety), and map out a route that suits your particular skills, needs, and stabilizing routines.
If you suspect a family member or friend has ADHD, “empathy and curiosity is key,” says Henri-Saturné. “Encouraging your loved one to seek a diagnosis or a clearer picture of their needs can help shift the focus from blame to understanding, which is a big step toward better support and self-compassion.”
Moving Forward
Receiving a mental health diagnosis of any kind can be overwhelming. But a diagnosis of ADHD in adulthood may be a tremendous relief and provide opportunities for growth. According to Henri-Saturné, this may be a time of both celebration and grieving. “Celebrate this opportunity you now have for self-awareness, and give yourself permission to grieve the challenges of the past. This diagnosis doesn’t erase the struggles you’ve faced, but now you can write a new story moving forward. Remember, you’re not broken—your brain just works differently.”
Lean into strategies you have already determined are effective—a 20-minute nap, breathing exercises, an early morning run—and try out new ones. Henri-Saturné encourages those newly diagnosed to “experiment with ADHD-friendly systems such as visual reminders, planners, alarms, shorter task lists. Most of all, have fun learning what works for you!”
While ADHD comes with many challenges, it also has benefits. People with ADHD tend to be creative, curious, resilient, inventive, humorous, spontaneous, and capable of hyperfocusing. In fact, Henri-Saturné believes that ADHD is “akin to a superpower. It’s like having a built-in turbo mode when something sparks the interest. All that is needed is to learn the proper skills in order to maximize these superpowers.” A key component is playing to your strengths and interests. Capitalize on things you are interested in, good at, and enjoy.
If you have ADHD and are a parent, one or more of your children may also exhibit symptoms. The work you do on yourself to better understand your brain and develop routines that help you thrive can be a beneficial starting point for your kids. Henri-Saturné explains that whereas adults diagnosed with ADHD may have to unlearn unhealthy thought patterns and coping mechanisms, children “have the opportunity to receive guidance earlier in life. Support and strategies can be built into their routines and education, shaping neural pathways and habits earlier.”
It is possible to thrive with ADHD. That Ferrari brain just needs some strengthened brakes. By working with a mental health provider, actively seeking systems and routines that work for you, and leaning into the natural benefits of a neurospicy brain, you can develop a functional, enjoyable, and sustainable way of life.
Sarah Gane Burton is a freelance writer and copyeditor from Berrien Springs, Michigan, where she lives with her husband, Kevin, and two children.
