Recently when my schedule was particularly hectic, a friend sent me a greeting card advertising a hotline for stressed-out people. To reach this hotline one dialed 1-Need-to-Cope, and the following automated menu came on the line:
To hear a primal scream, press 1.
To record your own primal scream, press 2.
To play it back, press 3.
For a list of ideas on how to get revenge, press 4.
To order a stress survival kit for $500, press 5.
When I opened the card, it read “To reach a friend who’ll understand, dial my number.” Under my friend’s signature was his phone number.